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Happiest Season (2020) – Merry and Gay

Released: 26th November
Seen: 11th December

Happiest Season Info

At the time I write this, I will have seen a little over 150 films so far this year. Considering that 2020 has been a roaring dumpster fire for cinema with every film seemingly moved to some point in the future, that’s not a bad total. Here’s a bad total though, out of those 150+ films you wanna take a guess how many of them featured an LGBT person as one of the named main characters? 15. 15! 15!! That’s one in every ten films that feature a character that openly identifies as either L, G, B or T. 

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The App That Stole Christmas (2020) – B@h, Humbug

Released: 20th November
Seen: 7th December

Sometimes a bad film is hard to write about because its badness is hard to explain. It’s hard to express in text form why the tone of a piece doesn’t work or how a performance doesn’t quite land. A bad film can also be so spectacularly bad that you wonder if you can just make a review of it “Everything about this film is wrong” and leave it at that… but that’s no fun. Strap yourselves in, I found something spectacular.

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Hillbilly Elegy (2020) – Ya’ll Don’t Come Back Now, Ya Hear?

Released: 24th November
Seen: 7th December

Hillbilly Elegy Info

At the time that I write this, the actress with the most Oscar nominations without a win is Glenn Close with seven nominations to her name. Seven times Glenn’s had the chance to be handed that little gold statue that is a symbol of Hollywood’s respect and seven times she’s been denied what she probably should’ve gotten back in the 80s. Following her at six nominations is Amy Adams, another person who probably should’ve gotten the gold at some point by now.

It’s clear that the two of them are due to get that recognition and for a while people have been speculating that Glenn might try to land one with her upcoming screen adaptation of the Sunset Boulevard musical and that Amy was pretty much inevitably going to get one at some point… I guess I just hoped they wouldn’t resort to obvious Oscar bait in order to cross that finish line.

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The War With Grandpa (2020) – War Is Hell!

Released: 12th November
Seen: 7th December

The War With Grandpa Info

At some point in every prestige actor’s career, you will hear them utter the following phrase… “I did this one for my grandkids”. It’s a phrase that’s almost always followed by a movie that won’t be remembered for long but it’s forgivable because it’s for kids and clearly the actor in question would like something to share with their young relatives. Robert De Niro’s done enough films like The War With Grandpa, he can stop doing them any damn time that he wants!

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Shirley (2020) – The House On Biopic Hill

Released: 9th July
Seen: 4th December

Shirley Jackson is perhaps best known as the author of the book The Haunting of Hill House, a book that’s been adapted multiple times into films (both a beloved 1963 version and a reviled 1999 version) and into the recent hit Netflix series. She has been named as an influence on authors like Stephen King and Neil Gaiman among a slew of others. Her work has stood the test of time and now at last we have a biopic about her. The biopic happens to be a genre I’m not exactly fond of because usually they are all very similar… which is why an exception like Shirley is much appreciated.

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Fatman (2020) – Slenderman’s Crappy Cousin

Released: 18th November
Seen: 26th November

When it comes to iconography that must be handled with care, I can’t think of an image more precious than that of Santa Claus. A universal symbol of love and joy, it’s something you have to be careful with especially if you decide to use that imagery in a transgressive manner. If, for example, you plan on making an over the top slasher film like Silent Night, Deadly Night then you had better go all out and make good use of what you’re playing with.

You could also use the image of Santa for comedic value, the evil robot Santa of Futurama is a prime example of a hilarious evil Santa that plays with the iconography in fun interesting ways. One big thing with this is you probably shouldn’t go half assed when you use that kind of imagery because otherwise you just seem like an edgelord instead of being actually edgy in an interesting manner… and that, right there, is the problem with Fatman.

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The Comeback Trail (2020) – Stop, Don’t Comeback

Released: 12th November
Seen: 23rd November

The Comeback Trail Info

Some films follow familiar tropes in order to tell their story, look at the slasher films of the 80s who all leapt on the basic structure that Halloween laid out and kept twisting it in various ways. There’s nothing particularly wrong with it, story structures exist for a reason… they work. They’re a good foundation to work with and can often lead to great films when handled properly. Then there’s the kind of film that feels like it took a really popular films story and filed off the serial numbers… this is that kind of film.

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All My Life (2020) – Oh Life, Oh Liiife, Do Do Do Do

Released: 19th November
Seen: 22nd November

All My Life Info

In the romance genre there is an interesting variation that I will lovingly refer to as the “Oops, cancer” film. We’ve seen the story play out before numerous times, boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, either girl or boy gets terminal cancer in a way that’s handled with all the grace of the breast cancer reveal in The Room. Recent saccharine films with this story include I Still Believe, a film that was more about preaching the word of god than telling a story about a couple in love going against a powerful disease, and Irreplaceable You, which took the “Oops, cancer” moment and used it as a jumping off point for a film about a dying wife trying to set her husband up with someone to look after him when she’s gone. The films made with this “Oops, cancer” reveal currently take up a solid quarter of the lifetime TV movie schedule. It’s also a film trope that lives and dies on the charm and liability of its leads… so, how does All My Life fare? Better than most, but it still has problems.

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